Where’s My Pole?

Before I left for Iowa, which by the way, I love. I love Iowa. There. I said it. It’s full of corn and I love corn. And my friend Dan lives there and I love my friend Dan.

Who, by the way, has brought me down to the level where I’m admitting my love for Iowa so now, I don’t think I like Dan so much anymore. I’m from Minnesota. I was born to dislike Iowa.

Remember when Field of Dreams first came out? Guess who called me to quote that damn line, “Is this heaven?” “No. It’s Iowa”. Which was actually 2 lines in the movie. And I believe, because I’ve been told, those same two lines were said twice. Because the first time, who’d believe it, so they just used it again.

You know. I’m not sure that those lines were said twice. Ricky Nugget said they were so I’m relying on his intellect. Any Field of Dreams officionados in the house?

Dan used to call me in the fall when the Hawkeyes beat the Gophers in some  football game. He never seemed to get around to calling me when the Gophers beat the Hawkeyes. I used to know the game was on, over actually, when the phone would ring and Dan would say “How ’bout them Hawkeyes?” in his southern drawl. Which just cracked me up because Iowa is not Texas why are you talking like that? But after my first visit to Iowa I understood why Dan talked that way. Country music. That’s all they’ve got down there. Well, practically.

I never knew if the game was on unless the Hawkeyes won. I missed the game entirely the other years. Dan quit calling me after the games a few years back. I don’t recall when that stopped. Perhaps the Gophers have won for several years now.

I think it’s time that annual event got renewed. And this fall, when the Gophers win, I’ll be calling Dan.

***

Did I mention to you that I’ve decided it’s time for me to go back to work? I don’t think I want to go back to work full time. Unless I find something full time that is so exciting, working full time wouldn’t be a bother. I don’t like to be bothered. And god forbid I should suffer with the bother.

But it’s time I got busy. And so this fall I’m going back to school.

Secretarial School.

I have just gone back in time. To about the year 1955. When girls graduating from high school that wanted to further their education went on to teachers colleges, nursing school or secretarial school.

I’ve been a secretary. Even got retitled for many years to administrative assistant, office manager, and executive administrative assistant.

But I want to go back to simpler times and be a secretary. Call me what they want, I want to be a Secretary.

And I’m going back to school to learn how to be one after actually being one for over a decade.

I figured I wanted to fine-tune my fine secretarial skills so I’m looking into one-year programs for medical office assistant and medical transcription. And then, hopefully, find me a little part-time job in a clinic or perhaps land me back at home transcribing medical whatever it is they transcribe. I don’t know. Haven’t signed up for classes yet.

There’s a Secretarial School right near my home that’s got a 12 month program for just that very thing. It’s not really a secretarial school but that’s how I’m going to refer to it.

Now all I need to do is get my secretarial ass over there and discuss the financials. I may have to strip to get the money I need but I hear that stripping money is really good these days.

Class enrollment starts mid-August. I’m going to sign up as quickly as possible so I can get my Secretarial Gym Class of choice!