Steve

When Thing 1 doesn’t have a shitload of teenagers packed into our house, like it’s a clown car, it’s awfully quiet around here these days. Just me and Ricky Nugget and that damned dog and those boring cats.

Ricky Nugget’s upstairs watching some high school movie with an early Zooey Deschanel and a whole bunch of other ragtag barely actors. I’m taking a bracelet making break and scanning some old photos.

This one is when my friend Spaz and I took our friend Steve out dive-bar hopping down in Mankato. About an hour and half from here. I had to make a poster. I couldn’t just go down to Mankato and go bar hopping. No. Note the “Sponsored by a Foundation for a Better Connie Francis”. I was fixated with Connie Francis. Still am. I cannot believe how frickin’ big my hair was that night. I have to wonder how much Aqua Net I used to keep it that high for the entire drive from Minneapolis to Mankato. I even think I stopped in a cornfield to pee. That is some strong damn hairspray. 

You made posters to go bar hopping, too. Right?

March 1987. I think I’d just split up with my first husband for about a whole 10 days or so. I do not sit around waiting to get old, people.

There was no 2nd annual Mankato Dive Tour. Actually, if I remember correctly, this dive tour ended early. When we hit the bar where our friend Steve’s brand  new girlfriend was. She didn’t like me much. I didn’t like her much either. I’m surprised I got invited to their wedding, actually.

My friend Michelle joined us for the night. I have no idea what happened to Michelle. I lost touch with her some time after Ricky Nugget and I got married. That happened with alot of my old college friends. I blame it on Ricky Nugget. Or I thank Ricky Nugget for it. Depends on the friend.

I’m amazed that I’m sitting that close to Steve while he’s got a cigarette in his hand. I  must have been pretty damn drunk. I do not like cigarettes. Didn’t back then, either.

Here I am pretending to grab his balls, but I am not touching them. I am not! I do believe he is touching my ass, however. I’d gone down to crash his bachelor party. Lord, that was a boring bachelor party. When I got there and walked in the door, the guys were just sitting around playing cards while a Divine movie played on the t.v. That’s what happens when your gay friend, Arlo, throws you a bachelor party. The guys were happy to see me. Greeted me with “The Stripper’s Here!”

I did not strip. However, I did get asked by some guy I’d never met before, to marry him. I was already living with Ricky Nugget so I had to turn him down. Dang.

Ricky Nugget is always getting in the way.