Mothertrucker, I woke up sad today. I really need to find a job so that I have something to challenge my brain besides nothing. Something to keep me too busy for sad. Of course, were I not so sad this morning, I could just dive into everything that needs to get done around here. I’ve got enough busy in this house, just not enough happy energy to do it. I really don’t want to work if I don’t have to. Unless I can find something that I would love to do. I’m going to focus on finding that something. Dig around and see what I can find.
I’ll be okay. It’s just at this very moment the sadness has settled in. The current sadness is because of yesterday’s graduation party with a family we know because of Thing 1. And spending time with his ex-girlfriend. Also, I keep getting more information on some of the stuff my oldest son did that just breaks my heart. And, I have got to finish going through his stuff, boxing up what needs to be stored and donating the rest. Lordy, that’s just too sad to think about.
Our son really did a bunch of stupid shit and I worry about his future. I talked to him yesterday and I’m not getting a good vibe from him. I plan to not contact him for awhile, giving us as much distance as possible. I need it. And I need to accept the fact that his bottom is his bottom, and not mine too.
A special shout out thank you to Carolyn, who always seems to say the very thing I need to hear at the very time I need to hear it. And to everyone else who has reached out, I meant to reply to each and every one of you but then I ran out of gas and found myself feeling worse because your kindness was overwhelming. In a good way, of course, but it’s just awfully had for this stoic Norwegian to accept so much kindness. We Norwegians like to take care of ourselves, never wanting to be in need of other’s help.
Okay. Enough of this pity party. shake shake shake it off!
Funny how we have to keep adjusting to the ‘new normal’ of our lives? And the adjustment is so much harder when the new normal includes the loss of something.
Hell, I couldn’t even adjust to the new normal when I lost some weight a few (several) years ago. I didn’t truly adjust and here I am again – feeling like my skin is too tight.
At some point, the scale has tol tip and there will be more better than worse. That’s the only kind of scale I want to think about.
You stoic types are tough for us nurture types.
You are entitled to support; this never happened to you before. And we’re all aware that knowing “about” something is not the same as actually experiencing it.
Besides, anyone who has been reading you for eight or nine years already loves you.
Don’t you just wanna throw your cell phone 200,000 yards away sometiimes? Every time it buzzes with another text, my world flops 180 degrees again, with yet another catastrophe, or yet another miracle… back and forth, back and forth WHAM!!! SLAM!!! BLAM!!! I’m like that dog in the cartoon, and Foghorn Leghorn gets me to run into one of those noose traps, springloaded by a bent tree, and then the trap springs and FWAP! WOMP! FWAP!, I’m pounded back and forth at the mercy of the trashing tree… know what I mean?
Hugs! I wish I could help you.
My baby just got his license, actually learners permit, after I think at least 6 times taking the test. I don’t know who is more of a reck with the driving now me or him.
I can’t believe in 2010 he is 18. Where do all the years go?
I wish I could say something to help, but I’m here.
Hang in there
I feel so sad for you. Thing 1 is so precious. I am proud of you for talking/blogging this thru. It will take a bit of time – but you will look back at these days – and see the healing. You, Thor, and Thing 2 will heal. I am feeling your full heart. Time for a walk?
The packing up will suck, that “really gone” moment but things will get better. Like right now my life feels like groundhog year (I keep getting 2006/7 can’t it just push off!) but then the phone rings and my sister tells me she and her partner ran off to Vegas and got married this weekend. Without telling a damn soul first (including my mother who i believe is miffed). How wonderfully silly is that
And you have done and are doing everything you can do to help Thing 1 get it right!
“Shake it like a Polaroid picture!!!” Hee! I cannot even imagine what you’re going through, Kathy, but I wish the speediest healing for your whole family. Besides, what are friends for, but to support you in your time of need?? Just know you are loved by lots of people that wish only the best for you.
I completely understand your sadness. Whenever I see how successful my oldest sons former friends are now – married, good jobs, “legitimate” children, it makes me so said for my son.
Why did his path in life have to be so crooked and blocked with crap?
Everyone says it’s nothing that we did and our other children’s lives confirm that, but it still doesn’t take away the pain.